“…My head was gushing with groundnut oil, sorry, olive oil, as I stood up from where I have been kneeling down for more than one hour.
It was my mother praying for me, blessing me, anointing me, cleansing me and firing all the countless spirits that are waiting for me in front of UNN to snatch my soul and dash to Satan.
She prayed that when they are at the front, I will be at the back, when they are at the back, I will be at the front and if they are at the front and back, I will be at the middle. She forgot that they could also be at the middle.
Before the prayers, I had already received several hours of advice mixed with warning and sometimes threats, from both parents.
I seriously wondered how they knew so much about the university that none of them attended, but no wam, what an elder saw sitting down, even if the tall duke climbed an iroko tree, he won’t see it. So they’re right.
That morning, after the battle of washing out a full bottle of Goya oil from my hair, I finally stepped into the DEN! That’s what we called UNN, and we the Students were the Lions.
Well I felt extremely proud answering a Lion until I graduated and roamed the streets with no job.
Back to the story, the University was a bit dry, just some fellowships trying to welcome me to the DEN. They were the types my mother would wish I had joined, but no be me you dey tell that thing.
I tried Damzy’s number but it wasn’t going through. She was supposed to be the person to show me way around school, but then, I couldn’t reach her.
I had to make due with the few places I knew.
I got to the library close to VC’s office. Most students I asked seemed not to know where the department of Combined Social Sciences was located. Hia, are these people too ignorant or what?
Though one of them nonchalantly told me that there’s nothing like Department of Combined Social Sciences. That I am like a roving Minister without a portfolio.
I dismissed him as being rude. Unfortunately, he was the person closest to the truth.
I later found out that I would have a base course and dependent course. So it’s up to me to be running between the two departments. That is register in this place and register in that place. Take this course and take that course.
The worst part of it was that UNN didn’t have any philosophy department. Or let me rephrase it, the had an uncompleted building that should be philosophy department but it had turned to business center where people sell food and do all kinds of printing and photocopy businesses.
So on my first day in school, I walked and walked and walked and walked. Infact, my name turned to Mike Ejeagha.
Towards the evening, I had to make up my mind to go home, and continue the next day. It was then that a call came in and it was Damzy.
Finally, something to brighten my day or so I thought. She said she went somewhere with a friend and was busy. Then asked me where I was so she can meet me there.
Few minutes later, a black Toyota Corolla pulled up in front of the GST building (that’s where philosophy department colonised as their classroom).
Damzy called me to join her in the car. I entered the back seat of course. The driver was this soft spoken well shaved guy in his late 20s.
He asked me how my first day in school was, the way a big uncle would ask his little nephew.
I didn’t even know how to feel but this life is not just fair. I remained calm, enjoying the AC, trying to avoid looking at my Damzy and the fresh uncle, make them kuku help drop me at the total roundabout in peace.
Who is the soft spoken fresh uncle? Let’s find out in the next episode..
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(CAMPUS LIFE, Season 2; Episode 1) was brought to you by Ugwuagbo Emmanuel Chizoba Daniel (Zoba De Great)