When it comes to marriage, there are people looking for whom to settle down with. Then there are people looking for whom to start life with.
Do not go and settle down with someone who wants to start life, and do not go and start life with someone who wants to settle down.
What I mean is this;
People’s view of life vary from person to person.
There are people who believe that the good things of life are better enjoyed when one is single, free, uncommitted and unrestricted.
So they can run wild and do whatever they like.
Then when they’re tired and have had enough enjoyment, they will then settle down, knowing that they’ve seen it all.
Now they’re ready for commitment and will practically retire from active life.
Just facing their kids, looking after their spouse, working and living life day to day.
Most men and women are on this table. This view is very okay. There’s nothing wrong with it.
Then there are people who believe that the good things of life are better enjoyed when you are safe, secure and committed to that one special person.
So they wait until they find they special person.
Then they start life with him or her, explore the world together, have fun, enjoy every bit of what life has to offer together until they die or get old.
Now, this view is very okay too.
The problem is when someone who’s lived his or her life to the fullest decides to go and settle down with someone who wants to start living his or her life.
It will be a constant conflict. One is constantly forcing the other to stand, the other is forcing him or her to sit.
The one that wants to start life finds no peace in just relaxing at home, raising kids, working and having a triangular movement.
He or she wants to hang out in the evening with his or her spouse, go to the movies, have a romantic night, a vacation during holidays, etc. He or she hasn’t done those things before.
While the other one who wants to settle down doesn’t find the thrill in all those hangouts, movie nights, date nights, vacations, etc because he or she has done it over 100 times with so many different people.
He or she just wants to relax at home, gossip about what happened at work, about Tinubu and Obi.
He or she just wants peace because he/she is already tired of the fun.
You see, you will likely have a union of two individuals, who though love each other very much, will always be either in conflict or unfulfilled forever.
So it’s important to first find out whether he or she is looking for whom to start life with or whom to settle down with.